This brief piece on NY Times can be seen from two points of experience: observing others, and then observing yourself. My self-defeating behavior doesn’t feel self-defeating. I can explain quite to my satisfaction why I’m not getting what I want. But observing others closely, it’s so easy to see their self-defeating patterns. But point them out to them, and perhaps I’ll be hearing my own spin (read: excuses) back at me.
Like this post about cell phones in therapy sessions, what we say/show to therapist (or to our self) may be very different than what is actually happening ‘out there’. But the same self-defeating mechanism works.
Like the Buddhist joke. How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one – but the light bulb has to really want to change.
It can be awfully tricky to get from “I’m being blamed” to “I’m being shown how to help myself”. As in the case of luck.